When we found out we were pregnant with Max, I admit, amid all the excitement there was a tiny shred of dread as well. (Horrible, to admit, I know). Miles V was 9 months old, I felt like I was FINALLY start to get a good routine down, and had started "settling" back into doing life. I don't know why it took so long after I had him to start feeling that way, but it did. I was kinda a mess, and scattered brained for the first 9 months (example, leaving him with my mother-in-law, and forgetting to leave her the car seat so she could bring him home). Yea, that was one thing of many that happened. Anyway, so I was a little apprehensive about adding another baby to the mix. Throughout the pregnancy I tried to do as much as humanly possible to get the house organized (not just clean, but "Ang-approved" organized) so I'd be ready when Max got here. Silly me for thinking my house would ever be up to my standards. BUT, Max came, and yes, the first 2 months or so were sort of chaotic. Miles was home for two weeks, my mom was here, etc, and so we really didn't start getting into a good routine for awhile. But soon enough, much to my relief, Max (my little champion sleeper) not only was sleeping through the night, but had settled into an amazing nap schedule as well. I'm pretty sure his brother, even at 18 months didn't have his routine down quite like Max does now. Luckily for me, part of his routine includes napping at the same time as his older brother... which usually allows me two hours a day (plus more on the days that I decide to get my butt out of bed before the kiddos) to do all that comes along with being a mommy. Cleaning, cooking, planning meals, paying bills, working on Mary Kay, doing laundry, planning activities to do with the boys, etc. And on the weekends it allows me 2 hours in the middle of the day with my wonderful husband. Ah, sigh. Life is good.
My point in this whole post is just to say how bad I feel for doubting adding Max to our family. While when he is awake he seems to be much more fussy than I remember Miles V being, he is an amazing little sleeper, and his personality has had me wrapped around his little finger from day one. Watch out, ladies, he and his brother are going to be heart breakers one day, I think! And I cannot IMAGINE life with out him!!!
:)
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have been learning this year is that God will provide the grace we need for EVERY circumstance...even new family members :) It may not be in the ways we think...sometimes God fixes the problems by allowing us to lower the standards we have place on ourselves in certain areas. Other times, He does it by personality traits...like being a good sleeper! I've been learning that if we let go a little bit and allow God to be God and shape our family the way HE wants it to be instead of how WE think it should be, that He ALWAYS comes through on the details and gives us grace when we need it most.
I can really relate about the "doubting". I had those same feelings when I was pregnant with Ryken and then even greater feelings when I was pregnant with the twins. I would wonder if we had made a HUGE mistake thinking we were ready to add more kids to the mix. And each time, when I've surrendered it in my heart to the Lord, He has been there to make everything work out better than I could have planned it.
I loved reading this! I always do...thanks for sharing your thoughts with us :) Merry Christmas!!